The power of Constellations

In the next Unleash Project in Zurich on November 3/4 we will explore Systems Constellatios with Antonio da Silva in order to realize the interdependence of things and the importance of alternative perspectives in some situations. What Constellations is about is explained by Antonio in this interview.

What are Constellations, can you describe it for us?

It is a process used to explore certain situations that we go through in our lives and get insights about them allowing us to deal with them differently. Through this approach we can see how certain patterns we experience can be connected to our relationship to members of the family, for instance, or even how this is also inherited from our ancestors. Events we face in life are sometimes connected to our lineage. So we are carrying this process through time without being aware of it. The idea is that family or systems constellations make you aware of these patterns and allow us to release blockages we currently have. Many people have been using this process in different situations. It is not only restricted to family and personal issues anymore, but also to topics in organizations, social groups, and even for collective issues, as some of the many possibilities of application of this powerful tool. Constellation allows us to deal with parts of ourselves that are not really conscious, giving us the opportunity to have a completely different outcome.

So, what kind of topics can Systems Constellations deal with?

For instance we can apply Constellations to understand why I have difficulties to have money, how to have better relationships, what is behind a certain physical symptom, or why certain organizations experience specific challenges.

Can we also use it to explore more societal issues?

Absolutely! For instance I started to do work with friends to understand the influence of money here in Switzerland. There are groups using Constellations to look into the consequences of the Holocaust in Germany, or about the effects of Colonialism in different countries, conflicts in certain regions of the Globe etc..

And how can we imagine Constellations when we treat a case that is more societal where the people in the Constellations do not necessarily represent other people but maybe institutions, things, or actors?

When we sit down to look into a social issue we actually are looking into our own relationship with the topic. And by doing that it does not necessarily mean that we are going to be able to solve the whole situation but we are at least working to change our perspective around that. In this way we have the potential of reaching more harmony and peace for ourselves, ends up having an effect on the our environment also. This allows us to become at least an inspiration for other people to look into the same situation also differently. We basically learn how to deal with the certain challenges we all face collectively with more maturity and getting less triggered emotionally by them, for instance. That's the power of this process.

What is your favorite thing about Constellations?

It allows me to look into stuff that is really unconscious, things I was not aware of but that influences how I experience life. And this is a wonderful gift, since it gives me the opportunity to bring light to unconscious points, giving me the choice to deal from another perspective. This is what I find fantastic about constellations.

- 30.10.2018

Antonio da Silva - Constellations wizard

The Connection Between Vulnerability, Well-Being and Social Change

Tissione is an international facilitator and Co-Founder of Alive Peace. He focuses on exploring topics of personal transformation, well-being and human flourishing to contribute towards a culture of peace and social change. He is part of the host team of the unleash project and organizes the workshops of the first cycle.

Last weekend, I gave a workshop in Switzerland entitled ‘Vulnerability and Well-Being’ to 30 participants of the unleash project. We touched upon a number of points which I want to talk about here.

Well-being and vulnerability are not two words you would so obviously put together. Personal well-being is generally associated with taking care of ourselves, perhaps developing a meditation practice or eating healthier food.

But being vulnerable with others, showing what we really feel, our shame, our ugly sides, our fears, our frustrations and our sadness, is rarely considered as an integral part of our well-being.

CULTURE OF INVULNERABILITY

1. Schooling
Many parts of our society are distorted towards being centred around the mind, from schools, to our workplaces, to politics. For example, in schools the emphasis is mainly on mental learning, analysis, evaluation and the ability to retain large amounts of information.

However, by comparison, we focus less on nourishing our bodies and not at all on our emotional needs and longings.

Also schools rarely offer safe spaces to be vulnerable or authentic. The fears of getting a question wrong in class or the desire to be seen as cool and not unpopular by others can make it feel too risky to be vulnerable.

2. Keyboard Warriors
Whilst the internet serves us in many ways, when it comes to vulnerability, the presence of so-called ‘keyboard warriors’ readily able to criticise or devalue any creative expressions online, creates huge barriers of fear in many people who become too afraid to share parts of themselves.

Being creative is vulnerable. How many potential creations have not been shared through the fear of negative judgements of others?

3. Busy Bees
Who really has time to listen to your shit these days?

When we are too busy lost in our daily routines, we can end up losing the opportunities of human connection and contact with those around us.

SO HOW DOES IT WORK?

There are 2 key parts of creating a culture of vulnerability.

1. Learning to Feel
A culture which labels vulnerability as a weakness is actually labelling feeling as a weakness.

The core to vulnerability is first learning to feel what we are experiencing. Before we share with others what we are feeling, it helps to be honest with ourselves. Often we are not even aware of what we are actually feeling.

Through feeling, we also are increasing our self-awareness. So the journey of vulnerability includes a deeper sensitivity of ourselves, allowing us to move away from suppressing and hiding what we feel towards living more authentically.

2. Trust
Vulnerability isn’t just about showing ourselves to others, but also about trust. We need to feel safe if we are to be vulnerable, and so it is important to cultivate the art of creating spaces for vulnerability.

It’s not just about being vulnerable with others, but also about allowing others to be vulnerable. A forgotten skill in today’s world.

To create such spaces requires skill and practice, but is a powerful act. Often we engage in conversation without fully listening, perhaps distracted, or thinking of how to reply and what advice to give.

Sometimes people don’t need a response or advice, they just need a space to share. So the question to ask ourselves is how trustworthy are we and are we creating the spaces for others to be vulnerable in our lives?

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE ARE VULNERABLE?

1. Connection
Connection is crucial for our health and well-being and without vulnerability there can be no real depth in our relationships with others. Vulnerability is the birthplace of connection and intimacy.

Our societies are starving of this, and therefore vulnerability offers us a valuable gateway to tackle issues such as isolation, depression and addiction.

“The opposite of addiction is not sobriety. The opposite of addiction is connection” — Johann Harri

2. Healing
Vulnerability heals. When a safe loving space is created, we are able to be open about our pains, shame, fears and allow them into the light.

Showing the parts of ourselves which we consider unacceptable and unworthy of love to someone who shows us otherwise can offer profound inner shifts. We can therefore help to dissolved the unresolved and suppressed pain and shame of others.
3. Seeing the beauty in others

Vulnerability can also be about daring to express the beauty which we see in others.

How often do we see the potential, talents and gifts of those around us, but do not share it with them?

A genuine and heart-felt acknowledgement of the beauty which we see in others can empower and help others to flourish. In a world full of criticism, it can be a huge impact to empower someone and to show them the beauty that they do not see.

CULTURE OF WELL-BEING

Transitioning from a culture of disconnection and isolation to a culture of well-being must include vulnerability.

It is our access point to deeper relationships as well as greater creativity, joy and fulfilment.

So much of the well-being and personal growth industries focus around the individual, separate from everyone else, where we focus primarily on our relationship with ourselves.

But in a world of interconnection, your well-being is my well-being too, and helping others is also helping ourselves.

Any process which allows us to see the humanity in others is a radical shift from a paradigm of separation and disconnection to one of connection. A shift from seeing others as fundamentally different to realising we are all at the core much the same.

It is radical to dare to be vulnerable and to help others be vulnerable too.

www.tissione.com

Changemaker Toolbox: Flashmob

You recently discovered the health benefits of singing and dancing and you are wondering why people are still walking in the street rather than taking a moon walk to work. Talking about it has inspired one or two of your friends to shake their limbs more often and now you decide it is time to inspire a larger audience. You call your friends and you conspire on an easy and simple to share choreography that you can teach to 10 more friends. You agree on a time and at which you can show up in a public space blast your favourite song, kick off your dancing, singing, limb shaking choreography together and inspire as many people around you to sing and dance along. Your video savvy friends capture the action that later in the day goes viral online. You have successfully reached your objective of bringing the health benefits of singing and dancing to a larger crowd, had fun in the process, practiced radical collaboration skills with your friends and a bunch of strangers who are now friends in dancing singing spirit. In order to replicate in the future, here the small flashmob recepy:

1. Pick something you want to make visible (benefit of hugging, recycling garbage, planting flowers in the city)

2. Rally up a group of friends.

3. Decide on a choreography, course of action.

4. Agree on a time and public place in which you can meet and kick off your routine.

5. Meet and at the agreed time give your all – blast the music, plant trees and flowers, yarn bomb a statue – you name it.

6. Make a movie to document and share.

7. Celebrate your awesomeness and debrief with your friends.

via GIPHY

Changemaker Toolbox: Using the Kaizen principle to make improvements with a big impact

Sometimes being a changemaker feels like being Don Quijotte. The windmill is so big and you are sitting on a trusted but admittedly somewhat malnourished horse. No matter how hard you try to stop the global temperature from increasing the news still report on the opposite. In order to stay out of overwhelm and start creating small wins while going for your big goals try applying the Kaizen principle. Kaizen in Japanese means “change for better”. The principle was first applied and developed in the automotive industry engaging entire companies from leadership to assembly line staff in a process that would eliminate waste and improve the product one tiny step at a time. The principle is now widely used for anything from product improvement to life changes. In order to make the principle work in your favor here a couple steps you can take to successfully apply it to your project. Every time you look at your project or product you will see tiny improvements or be able to adjust your process. To have your small changes add up, collecting feedback in the process really helps. Best is a combination of feedback that you can give yourself, feedback from a trusted group of colleagues and friends and feedback from your customers or constituents. Including metrics in your feedback circle will enable you to see whether you move towards or away from the outcome you want to achieve.

1. Define a clear goal or outcome – what do you want to achieve with your workshop or how is your product supposed to look like and work.

2. Set up a production process and identify different parts or areas in which you can see what works and what doesn’ttrack.

3. For each of those areas create a feedback loop and collect metrics – how well is it working on a scale from 1-10 and needs to be improved.

4. Pick one or two things you can improve.

5. Start running your process and integrate the new feedback after each round.

While the windmill may still be in place you will probably find yourself on a better nourished horse and start tackling the wings of the windmill efficiently.

via GIPHY